Why me?

I am one of Australia’s longest standing, most experienced couples therapists when it comes to marriage and relationship psychology because of my 30 years of experience. helping close to 4,000 couples work through their differences towards create a loving lasting togetherness.

Most couples in distress have the following harm going on: it might be put downs, hurtful words, angry reactions, vitriolic statements, raised voices, or even hurtful silences or walk aways. There could be trust issues, jealousy, dominance and control or competitiveness. All of these threaten the emotional security of one or both partners and a fight or flight response usually occurs. Which means that one partner or both, will either fight, or flee the situation….that is walk away….or eventually leave.

The Fight or Flight response is the basis of our self protective behaviour as human beings. The same goes for most animals who, when under threat from a predator, and their immediate survival is at stake, have to make an instantaneous decision to either stand up and fight the predator off, or flee from the danger. With couples relationship conflict it boils down to the same instinctive fight or flight response.

However as humans in a love relationship we don’t usually bolt away in the other direction at the first sign of trouble, instead we put up all manner of defenses and attacks to protect ourselves which, if kept up for too long, eventually fracture the relationship and it falls apart.

The EIGHT Forces Which Make Or Break Relationships Online Course

This program is for anyone ready to turn their relationship around whether you are married or in a committed relationship.
The longer you remain disconnected and resentful the harder it is to repair the damage so don’t put it off any longer.

1. Introduction

This session is an overview of exactly how you can turn your relationship around. We’ll cover:

• What is not right with your relationship.
• How to get the most out of the course
• What you can expect from this course
• The beginning of reclaiming your future together

2. Conversations

Conversations are at the bottom of every couple’s relationship problem. Learn in detail which specific words and silences are the major culprits in your relationship pain and how to stop this from continuing to cause damage and hurt.

3. Getting Closer Through Fights

While it seems like an oxymoron, fights can actually be a great way to grow closer in your relationship. In this lesson you’ll learn how to turn fights into something constructive, and actually grow closer in your relationship.

4. Personalities

In this session you’ll learn the different personality types and how your different personalities may be clashing. You’ll also learn why you self-protect when things get tough, and what else to do instead.

5. Attachment & Synergy

There is a basic human need we have to feel safely attached to our loved one. We are hard wired for connection. When couples are deprived of affection and don’t feel emotionally safe with one another, attachment and connection weaken and relationships cannot thrive.

This lesson focussed on what you can do right now to regroup and shift full-throttle into  connected “thrive mode” in your relationship.

6. Being Loveable

How would it be if every day you kept focussed on the outcome you want with your spouse, kept you’re your eye on the ball, and did what was necessary to have the relationship you want? For most people that’s not what happens in their relationship. Even if it is the way they operate in every other area of life.

Here I walk you through the exact steps to keep you on track when it comes to being an intentional couple, loving on purpose. 

7. Turning You Around

By now you have become reminded of how things were in the beginning of your relationship and more importantly you can see clearly now why things were so different then.

Being able to recall those loving feelings is key to reversing the hostile distance between you so instead of turning away you turn towards each other, like you did in the beginning. 

8. Reasonable and Unreasonable

This session focusses on how taking an intentional and loveable approach can smooth out your intolerance to what you had originally thought was so unreasonable. You may be stuck in this place with your partner, I’ll address this issue and help you turn irritability and intolerance into a thing of the past.

9. What's Important?

Most couples have not had hundreds of arguments; they’ve had the same argument hundreds of times.”

This session will help pull all your learnings together and motivate you to look at what truly is important so you become intentional in every way towards your partner.